I'm a Fool 'Bout My...

Spoonful Blues - Charley Patton

This month has been by far one of my most sociable Decembers in years. I've been seeing my friends and staying connected to a lot of people. Most of all, I've been staying cheerful which makes a big difference.

I don't tell myself to be happy. I've learned to prefer using "cheerful" because it shows a certain optimism without having to feel ecstatic. This has helped me a lot to feel better when I have the blues. It also helps me to surround myself with equally cheerful people.

After trying to be alone, I've come to realize too that the winter is definitely not the best season to test solitude. It's dark out; what I need is warmth and light. That's why I've been very active lately and also very attentive to what my body tells me, so I don't overdo anything.

On the other hand, I think I do have the capacity to be alone more now, because I feel better about myself. I wouldn't of been able to stay cheerful and lonesome in the past, so this is a big step for me.

With all of that in mind, I think a little bit more alone time would of helped me being more creative in the way I dress and it would of also forced me to be assiduous in the documentation of my outfits.

Day 21

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Day 32

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Day 37

Day 38

Under your Trees I Forget about Me

Swan Pond - Julie Doiron

Being alone is a conflicting idea to me. I've never felt any problem with it; at least not for short periods of time. Indeed, I very much enjoy being alone at home for days and days. I feel like I can be creative and have control over my life. It gives me a sense of space, and honestly, if I were to move out any time soon, I'd live on my own, because the idea of others being in my space, my cocoon, bothers me. 

The idea of solitude makes me feel safe. There is no judgment from the world. I can do what I want. I can lie down on the floor and just stare at the ceiling. Or even better, I can pretend to be a Noh actress walking around each room and dancing. I can also just be totally lazy once and a while without feeling guilty. Basically, being alone gives me the right to totally weird out and do what I want.

As much as I like my solo time, there are still cons to it. I mean there's a reason why solitude and loneliness are often synonyms. In fact, I like to think of myself as being part loner and part social butterfly. I love being on my own, but I also don't like being totally confronted with myself. There are parts of me that still scare me, and staying isolated from others sheds light into corners I don't want to see. I think a lot of people feel that way though. That's why I think it's healthy to see others. It makes me feel stimulated and good about myself. I also have the opportunity to laugh and talk about anything I want. It's very exciting and sometimes makes it hard for me to want to be alone.

All in all, being alone remains a world of duality. On one hand, I feel free, but on another level, it gives me too much time to pick on old scabs. I guess what's important is to create a balance between the two. I can easily spend three days alone, but after I do enjoy the company of my dear friends. 

Bernini's Caricature of Pope Innocent XI 

Wardrobe

Yellow Flicker Beat - Lorde

Did I say I would post outfit pictures every week? I hope not, because I'm really behind. I've been trying my best document everything, but I do admit not being a big fan of everyday selfies. They make me feel a bit self conscious. Anyways, here is what I wore up to the 20th day. I also added a bonus picture of my costume for the Rocky Horror Picture Show last month. I hope you enjoy this self portraits. 

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8 (Birthday!)

Day 9

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Day 18 

Day 20

Inspiration:

Dita Von Teese

80's Celebrities Against Austerity

Karma Chameleon - Culture Club

For a little while now, the Quebec government has been trying to make budget cuts in public services with numerous austerity measures. They have been targeting the public transportation system, the health system, our education system, our cultural heritage; people who don't have any political power, people who are minorities, people with mental disabilities, people with handicaps. These austerity measures also have an impact on the environment.

This is outrageous, because our whole society shouldn't be affected by a small percent of greedy people. Almost everyone in Quebec is affected by this. Actually, EVERYONE is affected, because if we're ruining the environment, we're ruining everything.

The list of reasons why these measures shouldn't be put into action is very long, but I wanted shed some light on the overall situation. This cause is important to me. That's why on October 31st, my college was on strike and we demonstrated with thousands of other students and workers.

It was a fun day! It was Halloween, so everyone dressed up and demonstrated in a festive manner. My two friends and I decided to dress up as 80's celebrities. B. was David Bowie, S. was Cindy Lauper and I was Boy George (only one person recognized my costume, but that's fine!) Anyways, it was a nice day. All my friends were there and I walked through parts of Montreal I had never scene before. It was beautiful.

I've been wanting to share some pictures since, but I almost forgot. So here are a few pictures that portray the absolute opposite of solitude. October 31st was a day of solidarity for me. We came together to show the government that it is impossible to silence 7, 903, 001 people.

For some reason our faces look really weird on this picture. I guess the image got too compressed. Sorry about that!

Solitude

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like the beginning of December. I know a lot of you might enjoy getting excited over the winter holidays. To me though, it's the time of the year where I start having the winter blues. I spend a lot of time alone and, I blame myself for being lazy and antisocial. It's not the healthiest way of living, but I've made it into a habit year after year. Therefore, I thought December would be the perfect occasion to explore the idea of solitude: solitude as an unhealthy mental state and solitude as an introspective experience.

Throughout the month, I will try making a short film and take pictures of my personal experiences. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this new playlist.

Solitude from Imogen.Andersen on 8tracks Radio.