It was my birthday a little over a week ago and I made a video. If you know me already, you are probably aware that I am a nostalgic person that loves to collect an infinity of things (objects, memories, anything really). That is why I have been keeping track of my everyday memories through videos for the last two years. I made a first "short film" for my 17th birthday, and now that I'm 18, I thought I'd share the one I did to document the last year.
Honestly, I found it hard to edit this time. The year before I turned 17, I spent a lot of time alone. I filmed myself through all my everyday routines and, my ups and downs. It was easy, because there wasn't any distraction from what was around me. On the other hand, I wasn't feeling well either which helped me isolate myself from others. These past twelve months though were totally different; I had a flourishing social life and a thriving self-confidence. Because of all the stimulation, it was harder to focus on this personal project.
When I started editing, it felt as if everything was all over the place. I was so unsatisfied with the final result of the video that I almost decided to abandon. But soon after, I realized my life has been going all over the place, so it's perfectly normal for the project to seem the same way. I altered a few things to make it better and this is what I ended up with. I hope you enjoy it.
I hadn't planned on writing tonight. But since I haven't posted anything in over a week, I thought I owed it to you, and to myself, to share certain things I pondered upon throughout the last few days. As the month has been going by, I've been thinking more and more about the concept of beauty. I had many ideas and opinions of what it could be, but it was only after watching Wim Wenders' Pina that it all fell into place. In fact, I realized that beauty goes way farther than appearance. It is something intangible that our mind creates. I believe there are two (or more) ways of seeing beauty. One is may be more instinctive and the other emotional.
On one hand, we might say beauty is a way to label things around us; to differ, for example, a good mate from a bad one. This instance is a concept that is, in some sorts, related to Darwin's theory of evolution. He believed biological characteristics change throughout many generations to ensure the survival of a specie. This "survival of the fittest" is maintained when strong gene pools are kept together. Therefore, it would be logical that, as primates, we choose a mate that is healthy and strong. In other words, beauty would be described as an innate mechanism to differentiate a good breeding partner from a less effective one.
As much as I believe this theory is logical, I do think there is a deeper, more philosophical aspect to this subject. I don't know if this ever happened to you, but sometimes, I feel in total awe of everything around me. It is as if beauty is a feeling that can constantly fluctuate. Everyone has there own way of experiencing how they feel; that might explain why we all see beauty differently. I say this, but I do think the use of the word "feeling" isn't totally on point. When watching the movie Pina, there were many dancers saying how Pina Bausch transcended beauty through her choreographies. This is something I relate to a lot, because, to me, the only way to translate the actual meaning of beauty is by dancing. While I dance, I translate my feelings and that to me is beautiful. Basically, beauty is something we develop throughout our lives and that might change through time. It is like a feeling, but never actually is one.
Essentially, I think the concept of beauty is separated into the innate notion of beauty and the emotional idea of beauty. I also think that what we consider as beautiful is highly influenced by society. Are things pretty because we think they are pretty, or because we were taught they were pretty? That is an other question I will answer another time though, but any way, some things will always be beautiful. Am I right?
Clothes have always been an important component to expressing myself. I think of it of now as an extension of my creativity. Every morning I try to find a way to look nice. Obviously, my idea of pretty outfits has changed throughout the years. It's like fashion. Five years ago, people (including myself) laughed at 90's fashion, and now people try their best to replicate it. Isn't that strange? It went from being stylish to "unstylish", and then, finally it came back into fashion. This conception of beauty makes absolutely no sense!
I often criticized other people for having a "bad" fashion sense, but honestly that was a simplistic way of seeing it. Beauty through clothing is complex. I think we should make a difference between personal taste and thinking others don't have style. A person could think they look great and you might disagree, but that's totally fine, because beauty and inspiration changes from person to person. You're goal should be to respect that and not to bash it ('cause that's way to easy!)
I was lucky no one ever really said anything about my way of dressing throughout the years. I have been pretty free to do whatever I wanted. This helped me a lot to explore my creativity. Sometimes, I created what I thought were masterpieces, and other days I felt like a clown. Now that I look back on that, I think: "What's wrong with being a clown?" John Waters puts this idea into words really well in his book, Role Models, where he encourages people to explore there personal style by dressing as ugly as possible, so you can explore the whole spectrum of the clothing world. I thought that was very inspiring. Although I haven't put this concept into action yet, I do take it into consideration.
What I'm trying to say here is that no matter how a person dresses, you should be respectful. That person made the choice to dress a certain way and no one should criticize them for their looks. I want to make a particular emphasis on women who might be seen as provocative dressers. The way she dresses does not dictate her sexuality or who she is. Basically, please don't slut-shame, or should I say: Do not shame anyone for expressing themselves the way they want. Also, have fun!
On that note, here are the first outfits of my wardrobe challenge.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 5
Note: Day 4 is missing because I was to darn lazy. I was pretty much wearing a pyjama-like outfit.
Happy November! It's already day six and I didn't even notice. A thing I did notice though is the time change. (Gotta love them time changes!) I haven't been sleeping enough and I've been hoping this would help because every time I tried writing a post in the last few days, I just fell asleep. Nevertheless, here I am, kind of awake, to announce this month's theme. If you're a little shrewd you have guessed it already. Yes, this month, I will be exploring Beauty.
Aaah, what a bizarre thing that is beauty. It always bewildered me. Is beauty something innate or is it something we have learned from society? Is it possible to perceive beauty without anyone telling you what it is? I will think about it this month and try to answer these questions the best I can. There will also be a video coming out for my birthday and many pictures of outfits.
Speaking of clothing, I have challenged myself to wear every item in my wardrobe to create a different outfit everyday until I run out of stuff. I will share pictures once a week. I worn you though, it might not always be mind-blowingly beautiful. Wait! You chose if it's beautiful! Because no one should have a say in it.
Hope no one has gotten the winter blues yet. If so, listen to these wonderful songs to cheer up!
